Judgement Day.
Yup, it finally happened. No, we're over talking about the Michael Jackson verdict (well, at least for now until things start to pick up again at Camp Jacko).
And no, it's not the end of the world (at least no signs have surged yet for that to happen). But it's true. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. Well, not now anyway.
Kelly Osbourne: notorious overweight talk-alot, partygoer, drug addict, don't-give-a-**ck Brit reality show supastar.
What about her, you say? What in the world could make me stop and take a long, hard look at the (metaphorical) spawn of the devil (Ozzy, not Sharon)? No apparent talent, a zest for life, and several Guinness pints later... here she comes.
Her blatant rampage on the 80's through the awful debut disc "Shut Up" made us want to do just that: stuff a sock in her weighty mouth. Now, it's a distant memory and the aftermath of the Post-MTV Osbournes era has cleared our minds of just how much we loved to hear Ozzy say the F-word and hear the kids bitch and Sharon try to keep some order in the household and their careers. This dawn of a new era not only cleansed our minds, but it also made Kelly think long and hard that continuously trying reverse psychology on everyone by openly speaking about how disastrous and awful her singing was, apparently was a wrong way to nowhere.
Enter Mr. Pink Slip.
Mind clears.
Rolodex and Palm Pilot contact list in a search frenzy, Google-style.
Waddayaknow? Uber-producer and Gwen Stefani-solo-crafter, former 4 Non Blondes frontchick Linda Perry was free for a few days. Many crumpets and English tea cups later, the deal was sealed. Linda Perry took it upon herself to re-create Kelly from what seems to be the material Gwen scrapped from her over-Oriental solo debut, the ultimately fabulous "Love. Angel. Music. Baby." (Get it now, before they keep pouring out "Hollaback Girl" for radio burnout... Uh oh, too late. :O)
Who says you can't feast on scraps?
10 gorgeously crafty tracks compose Kelly's infectious "Sleeping In The Nothing", out now on her new home, Sanctuary Records.
It's like Felix Da Housecat's jukebox collection mashed with a little Kraftwerk, to say the least. Experimental, experiental, and... brace yourself, deep. Yep, pretty personal stuff she goes through that gets under your skin with such guilty-pleasurable beats and authentic 80's synthesizers, totally makes you forgive and forget those damn flat vocals that go perfectly with what should've been released on vinyl, not CD. This is the stuff that 1982 is made of. Hell, I was born that year, I should know. Brilliant chanteuse Miss Kittin, eat your heart out. It's a very convincing formula for success.
Lead single "One Word" is delightfully campy, down to the French voiceovers and the mechanical, almost robotic deliverance of a track that was originally inspired by a five-letter word, an obvious election for inspiration: K-E-L-L-Y. That was the word that carried her through depression in drug rehab and pulled her through to the light as her mother uttered it daily, filling her up with energy and restored faith in the future.
Yeah, I know a little corny, but apparently true. Listen to the lyrics, they really do make sense. We're not at a Jewel-the-poet-deep-level at any moment, but it's all stories on life the girl "sings" on. The album was recorded while she was in rehab, leaving the clinic only to work at the studio.
The subsequent tracks are the rockin' good and bouncy "Uh Oh"; next single "Redlight" which is a pop-rock ditty that'll make you think of Martika days past (dammit); sex rampage "Secret Lover" complete with a Buggles pre-chorus moment here and there; the rock ballad "I Can't Wait" with a killer guitar riff; the moody-then-wedding-keyboardish (oh-so-kitschy!) "Edge Of Your Atmosphere"; my favorite: "Suburbia", a social critique taking on one-track lifestyles and closemindedness, oozes with a primitive beat that is undeniably the year's ultimate MIDI guilty pleasure - mark my words, SMASH HIT ON THE WAY! (if you're willing to accept it into your system); the date rape-sensitive, angry "Don't Touch Me While I'm Sleeping"; the more direct "Save Me" is a plea for love (someone get this girl a steady!); the electroclash of "Entropy" is a welcome pop-rock anthem to close the album off nicely; if not for the Chris Cox Remix of "One Word" that's a standard (and welcome) bonus track to help clock the perfect-ten-track collection of radio-ready singles just over 43 minutes.
Sure, it's a brief affair, but all the more enticing. Miss Linda Perry's a true genius: managing to create a gem out of nothing much, but probably liner notes that the-artist-formerly-known-as-that-chick-from-No-Doubt left in the gutter. I guess that's what Fatboy Slim meant when he introduced the phrase a few years ago, "halfway between the gutter and the stars". Know what that is? Not earth, but somewhere above us mortals. And that's where this is, definitely way above average. While not an instant classic from day to night, it will take the girl some time to rebuild (or build from scratch in most cases) the credibility she states her case so plainly with through this collection of dance and rock bits'n'pieces that SCREAM 80's! Well-executed, you've gotta give her kudos for her wise production selection and gothy, Eurofreeze makeover.
I could've sworn I was on my own with this grave change of heart, favoring Kelly's work, but I'm not. What most critics can't conceive is how she pulled it off. She's not a singer, barely a performer, a definite entertainer on her own right. It's one of those projects that works so nicely, one shouldn't question it much.
Ironically enough, Kelly's album launch was preceded by another stint in rehab, from which we hope she re-emerges with a newfound sense of self and inspiration to keep the new waves a-flowin'. Jolly good, old girl. Damn good.
And so, the tables have turned. A few years ago, it was us from this end asking Kelly to "Shut Up" with her album. Now, it seems she's inadvertently inviting us to "Shut Up" already, as she's comfortably "Sleeping In The Nothing". She's surely waking up to a lot more than ever before.
djchaco's StyleRating: 8/10
:)
-djchaco
And no, it's not the end of the world (at least no signs have surged yet for that to happen). But it's true. And I'm not ashamed to admit it. Well, not now anyway.
Kelly Osbourne: notorious overweight talk-alot, partygoer, drug addict, don't-give-a-**ck Brit reality show supastar.
What about her, you say? What in the world could make me stop and take a long, hard look at the (metaphorical) spawn of the devil (Ozzy, not Sharon)? No apparent talent, a zest for life, and several Guinness pints later... here she comes.
Her blatant rampage on the 80's through the awful debut disc "Shut Up" made us want to do just that: stuff a sock in her weighty mouth. Now, it's a distant memory and the aftermath of the Post-MTV Osbournes era has cleared our minds of just how much we loved to hear Ozzy say the F-word and hear the kids bitch and Sharon try to keep some order in the household and their careers. This dawn of a new era not only cleansed our minds, but it also made Kelly think long and hard that continuously trying reverse psychology on everyone by openly speaking about how disastrous and awful her singing was, apparently was a wrong way to nowhere.
Enter Mr. Pink Slip.
Mind clears.
Rolodex and Palm Pilot contact list in a search frenzy, Google-style.
Waddayaknow? Uber-producer and Gwen Stefani-solo-crafter, former 4 Non Blondes frontchick Linda Perry was free for a few days. Many crumpets and English tea cups later, the deal was sealed. Linda Perry took it upon herself to re-create Kelly from what seems to be the material Gwen scrapped from her over-Oriental solo debut, the ultimately fabulous "Love. Angel. Music. Baby." (Get it now, before they keep pouring out "Hollaback Girl" for radio burnout... Uh oh, too late. :O)
Who says you can't feast on scraps?
10 gorgeously crafty tracks compose Kelly's infectious "Sleeping In The Nothing", out now on her new home, Sanctuary Records.
It's like Felix Da Housecat's jukebox collection mashed with a little Kraftwerk, to say the least. Experimental, experiental, and... brace yourself, deep. Yep, pretty personal stuff she goes through that gets under your skin with such guilty-pleasurable beats and authentic 80's synthesizers, totally makes you forgive and forget those damn flat vocals that go perfectly with what should've been released on vinyl, not CD. This is the stuff that 1982 is made of. Hell, I was born that year, I should know. Brilliant chanteuse Miss Kittin, eat your heart out. It's a very convincing formula for success.
Lead single "One Word" is delightfully campy, down to the French voiceovers and the mechanical, almost robotic deliverance of a track that was originally inspired by a five-letter word, an obvious election for inspiration: K-E-L-L-Y. That was the word that carried her through depression in drug rehab and pulled her through to the light as her mother uttered it daily, filling her up with energy and restored faith in the future.
Yeah, I know a little corny, but apparently true. Listen to the lyrics, they really do make sense. We're not at a Jewel-the-poet-deep-level at any moment, but it's all stories on life the girl "sings" on. The album was recorded while she was in rehab, leaving the clinic only to work at the studio.
The subsequent tracks are the rockin' good and bouncy "Uh Oh"; next single "Redlight" which is a pop-rock ditty that'll make you think of Martika days past (dammit); sex rampage "Secret Lover" complete with a Buggles pre-chorus moment here and there; the rock ballad "I Can't Wait" with a killer guitar riff; the moody-then-wedding-keyboardish (oh-so-kitschy!) "Edge Of Your Atmosphere"; my favorite: "Suburbia", a social critique taking on one-track lifestyles and closemindedness, oozes with a primitive beat that is undeniably the year's ultimate MIDI guilty pleasure - mark my words, SMASH HIT ON THE WAY! (if you're willing to accept it into your system); the date rape-sensitive, angry "Don't Touch Me While I'm Sleeping"; the more direct "Save Me" is a plea for love (someone get this girl a steady!); the electroclash of "Entropy" is a welcome pop-rock anthem to close the album off nicely; if not for the Chris Cox Remix of "One Word" that's a standard (and welcome) bonus track to help clock the perfect-ten-track collection of radio-ready singles just over 43 minutes.
Sure, it's a brief affair, but all the more enticing. Miss Linda Perry's a true genius: managing to create a gem out of nothing much, but probably liner notes that the-artist-formerly-known-as-that-chick-from-No-Doubt left in the gutter. I guess that's what Fatboy Slim meant when he introduced the phrase a few years ago, "halfway between the gutter and the stars". Know what that is? Not earth, but somewhere above us mortals. And that's where this is, definitely way above average. While not an instant classic from day to night, it will take the girl some time to rebuild (or build from scratch in most cases) the credibility she states her case so plainly with through this collection of dance and rock bits'n'pieces that SCREAM 80's! Well-executed, you've gotta give her kudos for her wise production selection and gothy, Eurofreeze makeover.
I could've sworn I was on my own with this grave change of heart, favoring Kelly's work, but I'm not. What most critics can't conceive is how she pulled it off. She's not a singer, barely a performer, a definite entertainer on her own right. It's one of those projects that works so nicely, one shouldn't question it much.
Ironically enough, Kelly's album launch was preceded by another stint in rehab, from which we hope she re-emerges with a newfound sense of self and inspiration to keep the new waves a-flowin'. Jolly good, old girl. Damn good.
And so, the tables have turned. A few years ago, it was us from this end asking Kelly to "Shut Up" with her album. Now, it seems she's inadvertently inviting us to "Shut Up" already, as she's comfortably "Sleeping In The Nothing". She's surely waking up to a lot more than ever before.
djchaco's StyleRating: 8/10
:)
-djchaco
posted by djchaco @ 10:00 PM
3 Comments:
At 9:14 AM,
Anonymous said…
djchaco, u r doing great work. Keep it up. I was so inspired by this - just what we provida weightloss people need.
At 8:55 AM,
Anonymous said…
For the same reason, top weightloss site will never be completely clear-cut. I don't think, anyway. But posts like Judgement Day. at least give a different view and make you think about it - maybe even for the first time.
At 10:54 AM,
Anonymous said…
What a lovely entry...thanks for sharing with us beyonce overweight people. What could any of us do to help improve things do you think djchaco? For everyone.
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